I had a great meditation this morning with Oprah and Deepak Chopra. Here is what I discovered about the ego and being able to resolve a problem that benefits both sides of a problem.
I’m sure there have been times when you have been in a disagreement that has been difficult to resolve. When you approach a disagreement with the ego, someone is “right”, but then someone is “wrong”. You’ll more than likely get “stuck” in this situation. How often is it worth proving that you’re right?
As Eckhart Tole says, “The ego loves to make wrong in order to be right”. The ego craves superiority. Unfortunately, the ego takes everything personally, people get frustrated and angry, and the end result is someone getting hurt or disappointed. Are you defending the truth? The truth needs no defending. Let go of the ego.
We all need the same things, hope, love, acceptance, and the ability to express ourselves. We all want validation. When you listen with your heart, you’ll be on the right path to the spirit of agreement.
You can look at a disappointment two ways: it can be an obstacle at getting what you want, or you can see it as a way to please someone. Make it a positive process. Take a creative attitude toward disagreements and open the positive side for everyone. You don’t want to manipulate the other person to coming around to your side. This is a selfish “yes”. One side wins, the other loses.
To get a “genuine” yes to a problem, both sides will feel like equals. Both sides need to feel respected. We all need to feel safe and secure. We have a need to feel that we’re gaining good things that we want in material terms, rising above mere subsistence. The need to be accepted. The need to express ourselves. The need to be loved and valued with intimate regard.
People give their best if they feel safe with you. If they believe you are taking a personal interest. It’s more beautiful to be the one to give others what they need.
So, open your heart, listen deeply, care compassionately, and if you’re presented with a disagreement with someone, just sit back, open your heart and listen, and then let go of your ego and try to come to a “yes” equally. You’ll be glad that you did…and so it is!